This our family has failed to rally

Below, in f/u to B’s text
J
———
 
Kudos for your efforts. 
 
Not sure, though, what googledoc deltas actions/ delta/outcomes to xpx.  
 
Ma’s in control — a little less large– but still fully in-charge.  The state of Maryland considers her a competent citizen in charge of her own affairs. 
 
Family-wise she’s proven willing to have her cake & eat it, too. Ready to plague all family time  w her woes.  She accepts zero accountability to listen, act, experiment, try anybody else’s ideas.  
 
Cake/Too.  
 
You unburden yourself on friend or family, you opened a 2-way conversation. That right comes w responsibilities.  Paid professional, that’s different. 
 
My efforts, known and unknown to siblings, to just lead that horse to water came to worse than nought.  I was the bully. Ma the Horse proved she ain’t gonna drink no water not of her own making.  
 
Like any rubbernecker, I quit. Now Ma has H status for me.
 
I’ll be present, available, but initiative, influence, expectations,  problem-solving, are past, failed, relics. 
 
Alt approaches:
  – Es mother died at 63 of cancer. The kids were not involved. She kept riding her horse and would pivot every conversation to the grandkids. 
  – Both GI Joe’s parents died last fall. Neither finances nor health matters were shared w the kids. 
 
Ma’s responsible for her present state of play.  Legally, perhaps even rightly, we have no say.  
 
Last Sunday we took Popeyes to Boones. Ma started a litany of her maladies.  She shared her refusal to wear compression socks, I asked
“Why would you not try everything possible?”
 
“I’m bi-polar, I don’t do such things.”
 
She declined all dates for surgery until 22 September.  Man, I just bit my tongue on the obvious begging question.   I did say to Ma & Pete:
 “I’m just sad that we as a family we have failed to rally effectively.”
 
We can’t save her from herself. 
We can’t do so anymore than she could adolescents us.  
Nor us our own devil-spawn. 
 
Cuidado, hermano
 
Rubbernecker J

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