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You go to Hong Kong. You live with in a crystal palace of really rich people. You feel like you don’t measure up. Your mama’s a hairdresser. Your father’s a mechanic. They’re really rich, you’re not. Some of them are really smart. You know you’re not really. You hate Hong Kong while you brag to your park ridge desperate housewives about your jetsetting, checking off tourist destinations.

“I cant stand this filthy fucking place.”

Haley’s headaches start.

Shure Mic Corporation says “We want you to stay on.”

Emancipation proclamation, you announce to Ray “No, we’re going home.”

Ray: “Uh, be a lot better for my job if we stay.”

“No, I’m taking the girls home … you do whatever you want … the girls are miserable … the people here are just awful, there’s nowhere for me to go”

This becomes a career-limiting-move for Ray @ Shure. He returns, perhaps to same job he had, maybe a step down, certainly not a step up.

“Well … how was it? …. Oh, Australia was just amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing … the beaches in Thailand are just dreamy … the Great Wall is just amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing … did you see the Olympics? “

Since returning from Hong Kong you haven’t re-upped with your therapist, still taking pills, but no Talking Doc.

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“No she has to study to get into Saint Ignatius”

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“A friend told me about this great doctor, Dr Kroll”

Residual anger.

Haley and I do some algebra.

“She said it’s just terrible, you’re being a bully”

Waitlisted: “Haley didn’t need to go to Saint Ignatius anyway … look at Mikey, it didnt do anything for him.”

Marital strife.

Haley has no friends in 2008, stays in room

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“She’s charging it as therapy”

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“She loves Dr Kroll”

Facebook, Haley says “married to Eli”

Ray’s pulling away, watching a lot more Northwestern University football and White Sox, more beer in hand. Says “no” to the Christmas Eve Party you hosted before.

BMOC Olle goes to psych ward, suicidal ideations, hot girlfriend

Haley withdraws, stays in her room, no friends, no seeking of friends.

Gastro problems and headaches accelerate. You worry about Haley.

Haley @ St Joseph’s with marvelous lake view, a sleepy sleepy IV and one rickety old stationary bike.

Haley worries about you. Haley feels protective, responsible.

In Va Beach in October, no Ray in sight: “Where are you staying, wanna get a drink?”

You get a job at Dominic’s Kitchen in case things go further south w Ray. You set up your own bank account, just in case.

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“We’re satisfied with her Italian teacher’s … just fine … she’s not too easy”

Haley senses, hears the silence, the various yelling of your marital strife.

You, sobbing in car: “I talked with my parents … I’m leaving Ray”

Gastro problems and headaches accelerate. You worry about Haley.

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In NYC with the Monets, no Ray in sight.

Haley throws up.

On your Facebook, ” A friend told me about NUCCA Therapy … anybody know about it?”

You sentence the family to gluten-free diet, announce it on Facebook … the little girls are jonesing for McNuggets, hoarding Pop-Tarts

You pretend you’re in Trainspotting all smack-drying-out

“We didnt use your insurance for the MRIs … to save you money”

The SSRI you’ve been on since divorce no longer hold it back. You find yourself yelling more, biting people’s heads off, Ray takes the wrong route home, your head explodes all over him.

Ray’s adds NU baseball to his watchlist.

“We need a stool sample, but I didnt ask her, she’d be so embarrassed … a friend told me it’s parasites from Hong Kong”

Haley worries about you. Haley feels protective, responsible and now guilty if seen to be enjoying anything with her father.

Ray, 2 daughters later: “Cheaper to keep her.”

Gastro problems and headaches accelerate. You worry about Haley. Now you’re feeling inadequate because you can’t help your daughter. You start to doubt yourself.

The following year everyone around you says “You’re off your meds.”

You transition from one regime to another. They still don’t work. You’re still freaking out. Still no Talking Doc

Gastro problems and headaches accelerate. You worry about Haley. Haley worries about you.

You charm your ex-husband into being really, really agreeable about your health decisions for Haley.

Paxil quits working again — stupid Paxil.

Ray’s adds The Monster Trucks Series to his Tivo.

Your head explodes “that fucking bastard’s keeping our checks” … children in the room

Ray says “Goddamnit, Amy”

Your store goes bankarotta.

Christmas Eve: “You stole our $1800” … children in the room

Eli says “Haley said the word suicide”

I says to Haley <>

Haley Northwestern hospital weekend survey, view kinda sucks, parking lot and Chili’s

“You think my mother’s stupid”

Don your drama-mama-bear suit: “We’ll sue him”

You’d gotten a credit card in your name only. You put your atty retainer on it.

“Fuck him”

First hearing, judge upso, my atty: “How was Hong Kong”, no Ray in sight

I’m back on the track, jack. Fuck ’em all.

Second hearing, no Ray in sight, you enlist your fat friend — the one w formerly suicidal BMOC son

You, Kerri to my atty: “He’s off his meds, you know, he’s checked out as a father”

Approaching credit limit with atty fees. Ray’s not taking the hint.

My atty “That’s a gruesome twosome”