Tampons in the shitters

[ Day 8 of  3-month training exercise w Army boats on Onslow Beach, USMC Camp LeJeune, NC. ]

S-3:

“S-4!”

S-4, Captain Decoste:

“Commanders, once again, please advise your female soldiers not to dispose of their tampons in the porta-potties.

  1. The drivers of the Shit-Sucking Trucks advise us that tampons get stuck in the hose of the Shit-Sucking Truck.
  2. When this happens, it has a damming effect which renders the Shit-Sucking Truck unable to any longer suck shit.
  3. When this happens, a porta-pottie might go up to twice its scheduled interval for servicing.
  4. Our Battalion Commander advises me that the last thing leadership wants is to put in a place a pat-down or post-inspection regime.
  5. So, in conclusion commanders please advise your leadership to put an end to tampons hampering the mission effectiveness of the Shit-Sucking Truck.
Thank you, commanders.”

S-3:

“Thank you, Captain DeCoste.

“Chaplain!

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