Tuning up for the daughter’s graduation

sáb, 20 abr 2013 a las 10:33
Mensaje con estrella

That’s a topic of conversation. 

Not behind your back, but your mothers in charge of you and me. 

If I’m traveling, making a special credit-card-maxing trip for your graduation, is it unreasonable to expect a coffee?

As we seem to be resuming a relationship, expectations matter. 
I greatly enjoyed raising you first 15 years.  I’ve described the last 2.5 years as “age and environment appropriate.”   

The future has doubts for me.  Mean people suck.  Mean people say “suck it up,” sometimes even when another is doing a nice thing.  Those entitled do not say “thank you.”

How honest are you?  How opportunistic?  How manipulative?  We all are.  We each of us fall on different ends of those spectra at different times, places, people.  I don’t know you well enough to say. Perhaps you don’t either.  Did you receive that scholarship you joked or misunderstood?  Why the Strangelove-only adult-supervision calls, then you start texting me when dating a would-be soldier?  

I will say that I was disappointed that Dr Strangelove left the room during our 16 April fonecon.  Why would I suggest the joint meeting if she wouldn’t be there?  I looked forward to her probing questions and to her hearing our conversation, not your rendering of it to her. 

No child is required to like or respect the parent. The reverse applies.  I’ve seen and suspected things for a while that make me wonder how much interaction either of us might seek in years to come.  

To me a resumption of relationship is probationary — outcome yet to be seen.  That outcome will certainly be influenced if you say “suck it up” to this father again — and by hurt or offenses you take from me, for example from this very letter.   

Fun & silly & forgiving are over.  Society considers you an adult.  You control your money.  You control your schooling.  You control your health.  I am allowed to look at none of those.  

New rules are in order. Some of these are respect & niceness I require to rebuild trust and affection.  Those are non-negotiables.  With your mother’s agreement prior to the Elizabeth/New Years trip in 2010,  I  solicited with total sincerity  your requirements & preferences.  That offer stands if we decide to resume things.  I’m prepared to hear  them. 

Where this relationship goes is mostly in your hands.