Of course i want control


From: giro

Subject: Fwd: Our Time in the Desert // #2 // Of course i want to control the situation

Date: 28 January, 2015 at 08:29:00 EST


This is from almost 2 weeks ago.  

It is incoherent but illustrative of where I’ve spent my time. 

In my continuing and so far failed efforts to move on from you, this echoes the breakup letter I eventually did send you.    

All the points in that carefully-thought, deliberated letter stand here.  

None of them addressed other than to tell me how I don’t understand how intimacy looks n feels.  We have so many indicators.  More canaries than this coalmine can carry.   

I think I might with time feel less respected than I thought or desired.  Who knows?  Who cares?  


Date: January 27, 2015 at 07:06:43

Subject: Fwd: Our Time in the Desert // #2 // Of course i want to control the situation

Pau :: 201501152137L el jueves. 72.0kg. El Nadar 55min. Después de 1500L crash a ‘foo.  Mas RLS de ella después del martes.  Olvide las medicinas esta mañana.

Pau ::  
    of  crs I want to control the situation the pace the lanes the come the go the sources & timing of pains.

For me you will bubble up unxpx these next few months.

<< we’ll always have Woodstock >> he said like a fool.

lacking clarity, and now communication, I will, like Texas night, take charge n force clarity.  I’m about to tell you which lane and how we’re going to change lanes.  I wasn’t a military commander for nothing.

Como padre bueno,  en nuestro corto tiempo junto yo hecho exactamente lo cual yo te digo, when, how and why, cuando, como y porque

<< for all the right reasons >>

Nosotros finimos al high note; entonces no hay colere, y se puede separar en termas buenas; sin anger, sin las deudas.

No soy camellón and I try to not be a coward.   Soy mirror.  The goodnesses que tu me veas en mi, estaba solamente la reflexión la refleccione del bueno adentro de ti.

Estaba el hombre de verdad y de acción.

No te digo nada.  No declaraba nada.  No te digo Las Policías.   I made no Policy Statements.

No te pregunto nada.  Se puede contarme a uno mano las preguntas que yo te hecho.   Menos que cinco.  Porque I didn’t care? Tu lo supo lo mejor.

<< There will be time >>

There would have been.  Habría el tiempo.   Sr Eliot tenía razón.  Bastard.

<< time for revisions >>

I am not a chameleon.  I am a mirror, only.    I give people what they are.   As good as I was to you is as good as you are.   I was very good to you.

And now it is time to go.