Blazing saddles v1

Alcotán, dog, farts
¡¡¡ PFFFFFFFFT !!!

Timoteo:
Jesu Christi!  What do you feed that thing?  Something crawled up inside him and died!

Rick:
Eats only what he kills.

Timoteo:
Jesus… I’m afraid to shoot him.  When that belly explodes, there’ll be the avalanche to end all avalanches.

Rick:
Well you, you’re no better, you with your gangrene pipes filled with dead mice.  Go downwind at least.

Timoteo:
If you’d get something besides Lima beans, my bowels might not be the 7th level of hell.

Rick:
You could eat bushels of rose petals and still shit mustard gas you nasty Asturìan miner.

(Timoteo farts)
¡¡¡ BRAAAAAAAP !!!

Timoteo:
Oops.

Rick:
Oh jeeezus!  You soiled yourself mightily with that one.

Timoteo:
Ooooooh.

Rick:
See.  Told you.

Timoteo:
(Turns head, looks down at his ass)
That’s paella for a churchful of Catholics down there.

Rick:
You’re going to need a handful of hedgehogs to wipe that goat-smelling ass of yours.

Timoteo:
With leftovers for the grandkids.
( starts down the hill)
While I’m getting my nails done Ricky, shoot that mange-y fucking cur of yours.

Alcotán, cur:
Grrrrrrrrr

Rick:
That’s between you and the dog.  Nothing to do with me.
I’ll be down with the gypsies, the one between the chickens and goats.

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